Andrew Anderson 00:00
Hey everybody, Andrew Anderson with longer crowbar here, and I am with the lovely Mrs. Anna ditchburn. There we go that park. And I just had the pleasure of interviewing your husband or at least chatting with I don’t think it was an interview. And so I know that you and he had this like magical for me anyway, relationship and how I met you and like all these circumstances and stuff. So why don’t you tell people what you do, which I think is amazing to help them to help
00:36
them? Well, Andrew, thank you so much for having me such a pleasure sitting in such an honor. You know, when some women have everything on the outside in their life, they have a good job or business, they have family, they have a house, they have a great car, they have a money on their bank account, but there is something missing in their life, that is something that they can feel they can do more, they can have more, they can have a better relationships with their significant others, or they can, they can find a man of their dreams. So I’m helping women to achieve what they want to achieve in their life, to help their dream life, and if they single to attract the man of their dreams, or if they having a relationship. So improve those relationships in the level that they want, that they desire.
Andrew Anderson 01:42
Okay, um, do you work with men at all? Or is it just women? I do. Okay, cool. I just want to make sure that’s out there. So basically, you can help a man or woman find the person with their dreams. And if they’re with someone, you’re gonna be able to help their relationships. Absolutely. Okay, that’s better. And I believe you, but that you’ve never heard him or spoken with Anna before. Um, so as a direct result of this, and I always come back to, you know, gain more leverage in health, wealth and happiness, because they’re all They’re all three tied together? How does having that relationship help with making more money and everything else? And I mean, I’m not being flippant with that question. So why don’t you explain how those two intertwine?
02:29
Well, let me give you an example. I, five years ago, I was six years ago, I was a successful woman on the outside, I was married. And last time, I had a great job, I would purchase the house, I had a good job. I was driving a luxury car. But you know, outside, if you read me, like, everything is perfect. But inside I was getting destroyed by these feelings of loneliness, of fear of something is missing, that it feels like something just holding the bag. Because I knew I had a much greater potential. And when I started to look, what is inside hap, what, what is happening inside me, I realized I’m not fulfilled, I’m not free of some of the feelings that I was experiencing from my childhood from my boss. And I wasn’t satisfied in my relationships, on the level that I wanted, even though, you know, everything was fine. I still, I felt like I wasn’t supported by my ex husband. I wasn’t getting those kinds of level of communications with my ex husband that I wanted.
03:59
And he came to the point that I realized actually that I was in abusive relationships. I was in the relationships where I could not speak up freely, I could not share my ideas, or I could not share my feelings without knowing that I would be judged. And I went into a very depressive state. Actually, I became very suicidal. Because I thought if I would leave these relationships, I was in the foreign country. I moved from Russia to Australia for love. I didn’t really have many friends at those times because because my ex husband wanted me to be you know, sitting at home being wife who is cooking cleaning can be looking after the house. And I like it didn’t know what was gonna happen if I leave this relationships, what kind of work people will will think about me. And so I became a suicidal and I just wanted to end this cycle of struggle and find this piece that that was desperately looking for.
Andrew Anderson 05:20
So you didn’t have any family or any buddy else there?
05:23
No, I was by myself. And and I was literally ready to kill myself. I was holding this sleeping pills and my hands and a glass of water in another hand. And my mom called me just out of the blue. And
Andrew Anderson 05:41
she wouldn’t when when you had the boat literally
05:45
sitting on the couch, ready to Yeah, totally this world. And she said, You know what is happening? I just feel like something is happening. We have a really great connection with my mom. And I said, Mom, I can’t live like this anymore. If you won’t hear from me. Just know I love you. Okay, she knew a little bit what was happening. You said, Inna, before you do anything for yourself, I want you to promise me one thing. But what is it mom, she said, I want you to write the least of your ideal men have the relationships that she want. And I was like, this is all via smoke. I don’t believe all men are the same, all the relationships are the same. And I had this belief because I was in so many toxic relationships. And so I just I didn’t know better. And I just thought I’m not worthy. anything better.
06:48
But I did Brahms here. And I sat down and I started to write the list of my ideal men. And I brought his ball. He’s a New Zealander. He doesn’t drink doesn’t smoke, listen to drugs. He’s very charismatic, very honest, very loyal. He has an amazing sense of humor. We love traveling, what have you that could be we were traveling every three months, across the world. And it was many more things. But then, as I was writing this list, something was happening inside me. My whole being started to sort of changing. And then I looked at looked at this list and I thought to myself, does this person even exist? But knowing what I, through my journey through my healing and what I went through my childhood, if, if you’re interested, we can share here, I knew I have to believe they believe is the one of the main things that you have to call no matter what. And Andrew, I started to believe and then I asked myself, What kind of woman do I have to become to be able to attract this men into my life? So
Andrew Anderson 08:13
did this all at the same time. So you wrote down, your mom asked you to write down this list of the quote unquote, perfect man. And then when you what was the time period over the you sit down a table and do it? Or was this like a couple of weeks, or
08:28
I sat down and I do this charge like
Andrew Anderson 08:31
so the same.
08:32
So the same day, same day, so the same
Andrew Anderson 08:34
day you get done writing your list? And then because I think this is important, then you ask yourself, what type of woman do I need to become to attract that type of man? Was that it?
08:44
Exactly. Because I looked at myself. And during this marriage, I was married for married for five years. During this marriage, I just turned into this woman who was constantly tired, worrying, you know, thinking about only cleaning to cooking, you know, doing the shopping, and they lost the spark in my eyes, right? I lost my feminine energy that I used to have. And I thought that’s not the kind of woman who will attract higher caliber men in my life. Right. And you know what I did first, I was like, I just need to stop pleasing people who are around me, who are around myself, like my ex husband, his family, my colleagues. What do I want? How do I want to feel? And they knew exactly.
09:42
I knew exactly what I want. And I remember I signed up for a gym. I haven’t been exercising for a long time. I put a lot of weight, like what do you see now? It’s completely different Anna and I started doing some Proxmox tactics on returning back my feminine energy, my sexuality, my energy in general. And a week and a half later, 10 days 10 day, my whole being changed. I might even walk you through the way how I walk has changed. And but I wasn’t you know, I wasn’t hunting not at all.
Andrew Anderson 10:29
Well, you were just starting to feel good about yourself and I started to feel good, your own self worth back.
10:33
Exactly. My confidence started to rise. So once my confidence went through the roof, I was able to present myself differently, I was able to feel myself differently, I, I show up into this world differently. And yet, 10 days later, the man of my dreams, a baggy Zealander, who doesn’t drink doesn’t snow doesn’t do drugs, who is very loyal, very honest, stopped me in the middle of the day on the streets of Melbourne, Australia. And he I remember, here he was walking right towards me. And he came closer. And he he looked right in my eyes. And he said, Excuse me, but you asked tanning. And I wonder if you would like to have a drink with me one day. And I said, you will Good to hear you look like a million dollar. Honestly. So but my point is, when I went when I met labor, my husband, I I was already kind of separating with my ex husband we were we were living in the same house but in a different roles. So didn’t have any relationship for for a year.
11:54
That’s why I was real that would make you miserable. Yeah, absolutely my self confidence, my self worth was going even more. So I decided that I need to do something with myself. Because, you know, you know what’s happening Andrew in relationships, everything 10x Everything 10x in a relationship, whether it’s loving relationships, or business relationships, if you are going into the relationship full up, if you are seeking joy, if you’re seeking pleasure in relationships, if you feel like you are liking it, guess what? Your lack of happiness, and joy and love will 10x your partner will mirror your lack of happiness and joy. And you will be even more miserable, even more unhappy in your relationship. So you go into the relationships, to love. And I knew knowing this principle, I knew I have to love myself first, I have to make myself happy first on the inside.
13:08
And so when I met this amazing man, we’ve been together now for five years, my life has changed completely. Firstly, the level of love the level of affection, the level of support he’s providing me helped me really blossom thrive in my relationships that I I’ve never thought that will experience again. And now we we’ve actually became a corpus partners with a similar goals, we still have our own stuff, our own podcasts and you know, clients interest. But what, what we do is most of the time is together. So we share this vision we share our goals together. And when you when you together when when you’re coupled with your purpose partners, everything just 10x in your life, even maybe 100 Okay,
Andrew Anderson 14:17
yeah, I’ve seen that. And it’s kind of rare, though. So I want I want to step back a little bit. So when you were you’re separated from your ex you were living in basically the same house, but you’re strangers. And then your self esteem went down is that when you gain weight and felt bad about yourself and is that what that was that’s what was going on said Yeah, more than working out or anything.
14:42
You know, I started gaining weight, probably at the very beginning of those relationships. Oh, because I’m gonna share
Andrew Anderson 14:53
with you, you can share anything you want.
14:56
I went through a childhood so Short this by my stepfather. My stepfather was very dominant, very abusive, very manipulative person. And I, I didn’t know you know that there is something different exists. So the relationship with my mother’s mother I where she was totally subservient, totally codependent on this relationships. And I thought, I will literally end up in a similar relationships like she did, which I see where I literally married my stepfather just a bit younger, because how I realized that I knew what my ex husband would say, because that’s what you see. That’s what my stepfather used to say, wow. And, and I haven’t realized that at the very beginning, but all those things that my ex husband was doing was causing me emotional discomfort. And, uh, you know, I was,
Andrew Anderson 16:06
right, but But you were used to it, though. You were used to that. And that’s what normal was. And so that’s what you you know, that’s what your brain and your body and everything else been trained to be normal. So you’re obviously going to seek that subconsciously whether you knew it or not.
16:23
Okay, go ahead. Yeah. And when I finally realize what kind of relationships I am, that’s when my depression started. That’s why I start well, you figured
Andrew Anderson 16:36
out what you were doing that the pattern was, Okay. Wow.
16:40
Yeah, I saw it the year before I met my my husband. But I wanted to save those relationships, right? My mom used to do, I didn’t want to become a failure. Yeah, well, I didn’t want people saying that you’re, I can’t keep my marriage together. And so every time I would just go go down and down and down. And it’s very important, very important for women to know. There are men who will love you, who will support you, who will carry you like you are the most precious thing in this world. But in terms of meeting this man, you need to become a woman who loves yourself, who cherishes herself, who supports herself, who literally cherishes herself as the most precious things, because you cannot attract this in your life until within you.
Andrew Anderson 17:49
Right? Yeah, exactly. So um, so you have to, you have to get to, so you said, you figured out the the man of your dreams, everything that you wanted. And then I think this is the most important part, you figured out what you need to do to become that person that would attract the man of your dreams, because high level people, and I’m just gonna use that as a term high level, people are not attracted to low level people. And if someone’s ambitious, and then the other person’s lazy, and everything else, they’re never going to keep them, you may attract them for a minute, but you’re never going to keep them. Because once you figure out your own self worth, you’re not going to settle.
Andrew Anderson 18:28
I mean, after you, you know, with Laban, it makes everybody else look like what was I doing, right? I mean, you’ll never accept that again. And you have to get there before you’re going to track the other person is that basically it once you get there, where you’re the person that you’ve come up with, to attract the other person, and that’s the only time you’re ever gonna be able to track that person. Right?
18:47
Exactly. Otherwise, you might be able to meet a higher level, man or woman, but your energy’s worn. Right? And it’s just a matter of a very short period of time where he’ll just break up because what’s happening, for example, with men, when they don’t feel like they’re worthy of this woman, when they have a low self esteem or low confidence, there is a feeling of insecurity is happening. And when man feels insecure with this woman, what he’s trying to do is trying to control him. He’s trying to bring you down. Same with women, as they tried to control a man, they try to bring them down emotionally on the level they can handle them. Right. But so it’s
Andrew Anderson 19:46
their own insecurities, wanting to drag them down, right? Yeah, and I can attest this, the high level people that I get to hang around with, none of them none of them ever want to bring you down they will help you go up to the They never want to bring you down ever. I mean, even in the language that they use and, and everything else. So yeah,
20:06
that’s that’s the secret of the happy and healthy and meaningful and deep relationships, when both people are supporting each other and up leveling each other, and what is happening, because because we want it for for each other, because I feel like I’m full, what it’s what is happening in our relationship with labor. And when someone is feeling like a little bit down or unmotivated, there is another person comes and uplevel them, and then it goes together, we just upleveling each other. Right. And you know how they say, behind every successful man is a strong woman,
Andrew Anderson 20:50
vice versa, and vice versa, I if it’s if it’s a truly healthy relationship, and it’s it’s both, they may not be in the forefront, but they’re back there supporting the person,
20:59
I would never ever do what I’m doing right now, coaching people, I’m helping people to find their ideal partners. Speaking on a podcast, if it wasn’t before I even write, Mr.
Andrew Anderson 21:16
Well, that’s cool. I mean, you guys are just a blast to hang around. And I see all the things that you have going on and where you’re going. And it’s it’s, it’s amazing folks keep an eye on. And I am Laban and the purpose partners for life for life. Yeah. Um, so one of the things is in you were talking about you had gone through, and you weren’t fulfilling yourself and trying to help other people and it just didn’t work out and has led you to depression. So it reminds me of a quote that I had, it’s a capitulation of oneself in order to please another, in the end pleases no one, because you were just trying to please them. But you weren’t, you know, you weren’t letting yourself feel like that you’re contributing, and you were doing things you didn’t want to do. So I think that inevitably, it ends up it ends up in a horror show of epic proportions sometimes.
Andrew Anderson 22:11
What I’m kind of amazed that is, what do you think when in the transition? Because basically, you’re telling me and as you told us, I absolutely believe you that. Okay, so it took you a year to get to the point where you were fed up with everything, right? So you’re just finally had enough and and then you were ready to not take the positive way out. You were ready to basically kill yourself, your mom called? Because she knew. And there’s a whole theory on that that explained in quantum quantum theory on that or principle. We’ll talk about that later. So she knew that she stopped you. And then you switch it around. And then your It was basically 10 days later. Laban came into your life. Wow. Okay. I mean, that’s a great transition. I don’t know where you got not so no, no, I know. It’s not easy. Yes, I know. It’s not easy. No one one I don’t want I wouldn’t want to get the point where I’m gonna kill myself to find my, you know, whoever you are out there, my love my life. I’m not going to do that. Just forget it. No. So, but I mean, I find that whole transition kind of amazing.
23:15
It is a point when, when you have to decide, actually, when when I was writing the list of my ideal partner, when something was just started changing in me, and I started to imagining being next to this person. I had to decide that I do want this relationship, because Andrew so many people they want, but they always back up, because it’s scary, right? Yeah, you don’t know what to expect. And plus all your limiting beliefs, you know, in the back of your head, I telling you, no, this is too good to be short. You know, deserve and that’s important. It’s gonna be the same at some point, you know, because we’ve had so many relationships. I’m too old, I’m too fat, or I’m not good enough. Or I’m young enough.
Andrew Anderson 24:13
So in the interview with your husband Laban might ask him a little bit about this. But he said you’d have a one of your clients and they do. They have trainings and consulting and stuff on this stuff, though, that she had been or he had been without someone for 30 or 35 years. She Okay, go ahead, tell it can you mind told me about that a little bit without that we don’t want to embarrass her. Yeah.
24:39
So see, she’s an amazing woman. She, she has she has been coaching and speaking and she has her radio show and
Andrew Anderson 24:52
viewport. Wow. So this is successful.
24:55
Very successful. Okay, cool. Very successful. She has she abroad Well, books home we move on wells. Yeah. And she, she has a beautiful poor children. So sure, I would say challenge was she separated with your husband when she when she was in her 30s. And she put all her attention and all your energy onto providing for your family, which is
Andrew Anderson 25:27
great, actually, it’s noble,
25:28
absolutely lie on developing business, growing her children and what women buy, do very often they put their needs behind. They don’t don’t understand that the happier a woman are, the better everything is around. And so they try to put all their attention into the kids, a family business, which is really good. And 35 years later, she realized that she was missing, to feel loved. And he’ll wake up with someone in the morning, who who can tell show the same I love you who can not hear. And it’s very important for us women to have a man because it makes us feel as a woman, it gives us the you know, to, to read
Andrew Anderson 26:30
to write it keeps it it keeps your whole right.
26:33
Yes. And she didn’t want to have anyone in your family because she thought it will disrupt your business. And it will disrupt your children. But in what was happening, you are being seen single giving an example for your children. Yeah. That’s it, man is something that is disrupting you in
Andrew Anderson 27:00
your there’s a disconnect that is Yeah,
27:03
exactly. I and so and then your children do not want to develop those kinds of relationships because they can feel you, you know, they can feel that there is if you want to become successful that you don’t the the relationship, you can’t have a relationship, which is, which is I’m saying that if you want to be successful in your life, your must to have a good, deep loving and meaningful relationships. I’m not talking about toxic relationships, or which sucks your energy out. No, but exactly attracting the person who will level you up and who will grow together,
Andrew Anderson 27:48
right? And then then again, that will multiply whatever you got going on, even if you’re a highly successful man or woman when you get that right. Um, so just out of curiosity, how long was that transition from when she met you? And took your course or went through the training and what are how long was that before she found her quote unquote man was about three months. Three months. Wow. Okay, 90 days so. So ladies and gentlemen, you don’t have to keep on going on. I don’t know what’s Tinder and Facebook media or? I’m sure there’s a bunch of them out there now. And go on, you know, 1000 bad dates again, get a hold of exhausting. Oh, yeah. Is this crazy? Um,
28:30
let me let me tell you very quick. I am not a support that support this online dating, dating okay, but do whatever you need to do more on teaching women is to become this magnetic, this attractive, feminine woman who will attract the perfect man in her life. Because you know what’s happening? Our subconscious. Andrew is like a genie from Aladdin. Oh, yes. Literally saying you Yes master. Whatever you telling yourself? Yes, Master. If you’re saying to yourself, I’m not worthy of this relationship. Yes. What your subconscious made sure that happens. Make sure yes, we’ll make sure we won’t read anyone. Right. When you when you decide and when you become this woman who can attract a man of your dreams. And by the way, you creating him in the process, because we have this power of being a creator. Like to God right. Your when you tell God what you want, and when you really decide that you do want the opportunities the right time, the right people, the right place, everything called start aligning in your life. That’s how it works. You don’t have to do anything. Right.
Andrew Anderson 29:58
It will take years Maybe it could just be a few weeks or a few months, right? depends on the person, right? Depends on how much work you do on yourself and post war. Right. And I’ve seen war too. Oh, yeah, it’s really cool. Um, so one of the funny things is that I and I, I’ve thought about this before is that, you know, you and Laban are helping couples and individuals do this, you’re actually married. You know, what I find funny is I see all these guys out there How To Pick Up Women, and even the women offering advice. They’re not flipping married people is like, well, I don’t want to I want to take advice from a broke person on how to make $10 million when you can’t even help yourself, you know, so I find that refreshing. I just sit there and shake my head. So all these relationship people aren’t married, happily married. So how do they find out more about Anna? ditchburn. There we go.
31:00
So you can check our website, purpose partners, supply.com. Or you can find our YouTube channel Gurkhas partners for life. We just recently started.
Andrew Anderson 31:11
Yes, that’s good. Bravo.
31:14
You can visit my website. It’s Annette ditchburn.com. How to spell disprin? It’s d i t CHBURN. Which
Andrew Anderson 31:28
ones are wanting
31:30
to add students are getting double and a. Cool.
Andrew Anderson 31:33
And then of course, you’ll see this on the longer crowbar channel. Thank you, but you want to anything else? I don’t want to rush you.
31:40
This has been fun. It is has
Andrew Anderson 31:44
Yeah, it has I don’t act so surprised. Oh, just kidding. No, I just I just didn’t know it. Is this great? It is. That’s great. Um, I heard. So maybe one more thing. So what’s a practical tip that you can give them they can walk away with that you can that you could they could go use today? Just one little thing is there? Do you have anything off the top of your head?
32:05
The only thing I would say, have a look on your relationships. Or if you’re single have a look on what are the challenges you are having, finding your ideal person, what is holding you back. Because most of the time, we don’t need to do much. We just need to take the layer sell or shame or pain, limiting beliefs off in terms of lead our the best version of ourselves to step into this confidence into this, this beautiful magnetic and feminine energy energy. So it’s, it’s very important to know what is here that is holding or preventing me from meeting my ideal person or what is preventing me from having this deep and meaningful relationship. And then work on this and ask for help. Ask for help. I became a hypnotherapist because hypnotherapy really helped me to uncover what are my biggest limiting beliefs, what are my blocks, and once I was able to get rid of them to eliminate them, that’s where everything has changed.
Andrew Anderson 33:29
Okay, so I guess so there’s one more one more question. Um, so would you say that lack of self esteem is like the precursor for all of this from
33:39
I will say every thing is because of lack of self esteem.
Andrew Anderson 33:45
So lack of partner lack of money, lack of happiness, lack of fulfillment?
33:51
Absolutely. Because people, maybe without even realizing it. They, they feel like they’re not worthy. Right. Those kinds of money, all those kinds of relationships, wealth, and health IT.
Andrew Anderson 34:07
Yeah, that’s it as Bob Newhart said, Just stop it. Just stop it really just stop it. You’ve got to get over that fact. Because you are supposed to be happy, you’re supposed to not be broke as a you know, no left to choke and you’re supposed to have a loving partner out there. You don’t have to be old and lonely or young and lonely.
Andrew Anderson 34:28
And but you’ve got to get your act together. Go on Anna and Laban sight. If you’re tired of being alone and not waking up, having the love of your life wake up next to you and dreaming about them. And poof, there they are. So thank you very much. Appreciate it. Yep, it was a pleasure. And that’s a wrap. So check us out do all the YouTube things at the lager kroeber.com Where we give you leverage and health wealth and happiness and I think she covered in a covered all three and then some on this one. So Thanks for watching us and look for the next one see
